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spicedSnow's Lair
a dork with grammar issues and minimum time for herself
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17th-Aug-2009 04:12 am - [PG-13]Smile[One-shot]
Fiction Information:
Title: "Smile"
Author: spicedSnow
Date Published: August 16, 2009
Characters: SungMin, EunHyuk, DongHae (respective POV) (Super Juniors)
Genre: Drama, Romance, A bit of Fluff (Shounen-ai)
Warnings: The change of whose POV is not written.

~~~~ => means change of POV


Everytime there was a camera around, you always sought out for his hand. You let him hug you, hold you, and even kiss you. But people didn't know, behind the camera, you come to me instead...

"Hyung!!!" there was your voice again. Your cute voice that won't leave me even in my dreams.

"What is it Hyukkie?" I didn't bother to look up from my pink laptop when you entered my room. From my peripheral view, I saw you sit on my perfectly made bed.

"Hyung! I did a vanity check on the internet! I typed 'Eunhyuk'! I clicked several sites and it redirected me into a 'EunHae' Fandom!" you made huge hand gestures as your pout deepened. How cute.

"People seeing your and Donghae as a pair is not surprising," I closed my laptop, afraid of you finding out that it was your picture on my wallpaper.

"Buuuuut Hyuuung! Hae is one of my closest friends!!!"

"And I am one of your friends too. But when you look for 'Sungmin', you'll see 'KyuMin', 'SungWook' or 'YeMin'," I faced you in my pink pajamas. Your face contorted, and a frown formed.

"But I want to be paired with Minnie hyung too..."

"Huh?" I think my ears failed me. Must be my imagination playing with me again, "I beg you pardon?"

"N-n-nothing!" you quickly stood and in a second, you were out of my door, "see you later!"

I was so confused at that time. But I can't help but believe in that tiny bud of hope that you'll feel the same as I feel for you...

"And the winner for the dance battle is Eunhyuk! Congratulations!" I saw you hug him. I felt sick. My chest tightened but I forced a smile when you approached me.

"Congratulations Hyukkie!" I hugged you, along with the other members.

"Thank you Minnie hyung!" you once again hugged me and game me your famous gummy smile. How can I resist falling for you if you keep on giving me such delight of seeing you smile?

"Oi Monkey! I'll treat you to movies since you won," he walked up on us hugging and stole you away from me. I felt cold without your warmth against mine.

Why can't you see me more than him?

I saw you crying when the others left for China. I comforted and held you close while he was not around.

I wonder... Can I make you smile?

When the others came back, you cried and smiled so beautifully. Is it only him that can make you smile like that?

If I look for another, will you stop me?

I tried to stick with Ryeowook. Always hugging him. But still, my eyes will always stray to your side, seeing Donghae having his way again with you, making him center of your attention.

Will you feel it? My heart pounding just for you?

When we sang the 'Butterfly Grave' in Sukira together with Yesung and Eeteuk, I gave my best in singing. I poured all my feelings for you in it, hoping that you'll somehow feel how I felt for you. Did you feel it?

When will I ever learn?

Sometimes, I feel jealous of Eeteuk sshi, he always have time to be with you during the Sukira. I wish to be in his place. But more than that, I wish to be in Donghae's place.

Will you realize my feelings?

I positioned myself behind you during the end of our performance. And when he held your hand facing the crowd, I held your other hand at the back. I felt happy even if the fans didn't see our intertwined hands because in my heart, I will always believe in my small bud of hope.


Whenever there is a camera near us, I sought for his hand. Not because I don't like you, but because I was afraid that if I turned to you, I won't be able to let go...

"Minnie hyung!!!" I called out. I've searched the whole studio but no 'YOU' to be found. As my last resort, I walked down to the corridors and found you alone, texting with your adorable pick cellphone. I tried to approach you but I saw 10 ELFs watching you with their cameras at hand. Good thing Donghae was there. He held my hand and smile at me as we approached you. I wish it was you who held my hand.

You look adorable when you're clueless, handsome when serious, and lovable when you smile...

"Ya! Hyukkie!" you hugged me when I was about to fall. Your arms that looks frail has hidden strength in them. You smiled at me, my heart fell. I wonder, is your power includes making me in love with you?

I even faked some of my tears for you to see me...

I was crying when others left. When you saw me and held me close to your chest, my loneliness ebbed down. But when I felt you letting go, I faked my tears for you to continue to hold me.

Do you see my smile? My smile that only belongs to you?

When the others came back, you are with me waiting for them. I smiled my most beautiful smile because I know you'll be watching me.

I belong to you... Please be mine too...

Why do you torture me like this? Don't be so close to anybody else other than me. Don't look at me with such eyes when you held another's hands.

Do you feel my heart?

I envied the one whom you dedicated the song 'Butterfly Grave' that we sang in Sukira. You seemed to have sang the song with such intense feelings. Would it be Ryeowook? Please... Please... Please let it be me...

Please teach me to forget you...

Whenever I try to delete you pictures in my cellphone, my hand will suddenly stop moving and my eyes will focus to your eyes. I always feel a lump at my throat whenever I do this so I stop and just stare at your picture until I fall asleep. Donghae always tease me with it when we're alone, yet I can't get myself to get over with you...

Have you felt it now?

My hand froze when he held it with his own. I felt your presence at my back so I relaxed and silently offered you my other hand. I was glad when you took it. You gave me strength while we were facing thousands of ELFs. Though they didn't saw our hands intertwined together, I smiled at the warmth you gave me.


I often thank God for the invention of camera. For because of it, you let me hold and hug you even for mere minutes...

"Monkey! Smile!" I grabbed you and hugged you tight against me when I saw the camera nearby. You sputtered and blushed, yet I was happy to be able to hold you.

"Ya! You could have just told me calmly than hugging me out of nowhere!" you pouted that adorable pout that I've always fall in love with.

"Now, where is the fun in that?" I smiled cheekily as another camera zoomed its way to us.

"No! No! No!" you ran and I followed you. Of course , so is the camera too.

I randomly hit you with water bottles or game consoles for that is the only way I know to get your attention...


"Ya! What is that for huh?!" yur expression never failed to amuse me.

"Nothing!" I grinned as I whizzed past you and hid behind Shiwon, who is reading his daily dose of Bible.

"Oi! You shouldn't do that to your hyungs fishy!" you briskly walked towards us, your face still having that adorable pout that I always love.

"Bleh!" I jumped away from you outstretched hand and ran, signaling you to follow. Yo, on the other hand, cursed under your breath and started to chase me.

I've even tried to tell you that I love you...

"Saranghae Hyuk Jae..." I stared at your eyes. There was a shift in them.

"What is it you want now fishy?" you hissed. I felt hurt but I never dared to show it.

"But Monkey! I really do love yoouuuuuuuuu..." I whined and I saw Sungmin hyung enter the backstage. I've never got my answer after that.

Whenever you see him, I feel so small... Can't you see me too?

"Mooooonkeeeeyyy! Mooooooonkeeeeeyyy!" I cried out. I was worried that you lost your way again but I saw you looking for him. Your eyes, determined to find him, scanned even the most crowded places just to see him. And when you found him in the corridor, you look lost at the cameras around him so I held your hand, smiled even it breaks my heart, and lead you to him.

Could you be mine?

I hold you, hug you, kiss you, but I feel incomplete because I often feel your eyes looking at his direction. Why won't you see me as yours for you to be mine too?

My heart belongs to you, and only you...

When we left for China, I cried during the trip. I've missed your voice, your laughter, your pout, your witty comebacks, your simple gestures when thinking, and your warm hands. I've tried to forget you, I really do. I hug Henry, whisper things to Zhoumi, heck, I even cling to Hangeng. But I've realized, I left my heart with you.

I tease you about him but in my heart, I wish it was me you love, not him...

I saw you curled up in your bed, clutching your cellphone at one hand. You're still dreaming about him, aren't you? I wish it was my picture whom you stare out all night until you sleep.

Am I nothing compared to him?

When I sought for your hand after our performance, I felt you freeze. I turned to you and saw him behind you. I even saw you silently offer your hand to him and your dazzling smile when he took it. What am I to you? Will I have to make myself believe that you will love me too? Will it be you and me with intertwined hands or him and you? Please, do tell me...


Comments are highly appreciated. It is my first time to write a one shot. TwT

Thank you~

It has been awhile since I last posted here... ^w^

*Originally posted in sj-world.net
20th-May-2009 08:39 pm - What Nationality Are You?
Grabbed it from neko11lover 

[x] You drink a lot of tea.
[_] You know what a brolly is.
[_] Deal or No Deal has taken over your life.
[_] You wanted Ben to win X Factor.
[x] You use the word "bugger"or the phrase "bloody hell."
[x] Fish and Chips are yummy.
[  ] You can eat a Full English Breakfast.
[_] You dislike emos almost as much as you dislike chavs.
[_] Its football...not soccer. (Hey! Like soccer more!)
Total = 3

[_] You wear flip flops all year.
[_] You call flipflops thongs not flip flops.
[_] You love a backyard barbie.
[  ] You know a barbie is not a doll.
[  ] You love the beach.
[x] Sometimes you swear without realizing.
[  ] You're a sports fanatic.
[_] You are tanned.
[_] You're a bit of a bogan.
[  ] You have an australian something (thongs, shirt, phone, sock, etc.)
Total = 1

[_] The Sopranos is a great show.
[  ] Your last name ends in a vowel.
[x] Your grandmother makes her own sauces.
[_] You know how a real meatball tastes.
[_] You know Italian songs.
[X] You have dark hair and dark eye color.
[_] You speak some italian.
[X] You are under 5'10''.
[_] You know what a italian horn is
[  ] Pizza/spaghetti is the best food in the world!!!
[_] You talk with your hands.
Total = 3

[_] You say member instead of Remember.
[  ] You speak spanish or some.
[  ] You like tacos.
[_] YoU TyPe lIkE ThIs On Da CoMpUtEr.
[_] You are dark skinned.
[  ] You know what a Puta is. [not exactly]
[X] You talk fast occasionally.
[  ] You have had highlights or have dyed your hair.
[_] You know what platanos are.
Total = 1

[_] You say villian as: Vee-lon.
[X] You get short tempered.
[  ] You know of somebody named natasha.
[x] You get cold easily.
[  ] Rain is fun for you. (I actually hate rain)
[_] You get into contests all the time.
[  ] You can easily make do with the cold weather
Total = 2

[_] You think beer is the best.
[X] You have a bad temper.
[_] Your last name starts with a Mc, Murph, O', Fitz or ends with a ley, on, un, an, in, ry, ly, y.
[_] You have blue or green eyes.
[x] You like the color green.
[_] You have been to a st. pattys day party.
[_] You have a family member from Ireland.
[_] You have blonde hair.
[_] You have/had freckles.
[X] Your family get togethers always include drinking and singing. (And it usually kept me all night in a darn straight week =_=)
Total = 3

African American
[_] You say nigga/nukka casually
[_] You have nappy hair.
[_] You like rap.
[  ] You know how to shoot a gun
[_] You think President George Walker Bush is racist.
[X] You like chicken.
[X] You like watermelon
[  ] You can dance. (What kind of dance?)
[  ] You can 'sing' gospel.
Total = 2

[x] You have slanty/small eyes.
[X] You like rice a lot.
[x] You are good at math. (kinda)
[_] You have played the piano.
[X] You have family from asia.
[X] You laugh sometimes covering your mouth.
[_] Most people think you're chinese.
[X] You call hurricanes typhoons.
[_] You go to Baulko.
Total = 6

[X] You like bread.
[X] You think German Chocolate is good. [Basically, any chocolate is good.]
[_] You Speak some German.
[_] You know what Schnitzel is.
[_] You hate it when stupid people call you a Nazi.
[X] You went to Pre-school.
[  ] You're over 5'2.
[_] You speak some German.
Total = 3

[_] You like/play/played hockey.
[_] You love beer.
[X] You say eh.
[_] You know what poutine is.
[_] You speak some french.
[_] You love Tim Horton's.
[_] At one point you lived in a farm house.
[_] You watch/watched degrassi.
Total = 1

[_] You dislike foriegners.
[_] You hate non - Christians.
[X] You're lazy.
[_] You are not cultured.
[X] You hate abortion.
[x] But love the death penalty.(hell yeah!)
[_] You don't read.
[_] you shop at Walmart
[X] You think this survey is rather biased. (uhh, yeah?)
total = 4

Oh yeah! Asian powaaahhh!! *happy dance*
18th-May-2009 07:43 am - Happy 21th Birthday Seto Kouji!
Oh boy! I wasn't able to finish my fan fiction dedicated to my one and only Japanese idol, Seto Kouji-kun.

Anyways, I've just arrived home and remembered that it's his birthday today. *dance*

*nosebleed* He's so cute. He's so cute. *blush*

I forgot to post last week. I didn't find anything worthy to post, even during my birthday too. fu fufu~!

Again, I want to greet him, though he might not be able to read this journal entry, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SETO-KUN!

PS: If ever you're able to read this, I want to say I Love You Seto-kun! *steals kiss* Fu fufu~! =3

30th-Apr-2009 08:29 am - FaceBook Account
La Li HOOO~!!! I've just signed up for FaceBook account desu... And I find the site quite amusing la~!!XD

If you want to be my friend over there too, search Ruby May or yuh_bie08@yahoo.com

hmmm....anything interesting I've done today? Well, not really that interesting but I saw my 4th year high school crush this morning... XD

I think that's all I could say now... I don't think I'll be able to post tomorrow... My dad's at the hospital at the moment, he had a heart attack this afternoon. I wish it's just a mild one. TwT  I dunt want to stop studying. TwT

Till next time kiddos
28th-Apr-2009 07:16 pm - Writer's Block: Nicknames
What's your nickname, and how did you get it?
Saw this from meow-chi's journal entries.

My usual nickname is Miharu. I got it from rumandmonkey.com for generating "Miharu Saruwatari" as my Japanese Name... My other nicknames are May, Bie, Ruby, Ray and spicedSnow... ^w^ The spicedSnow part started in deviantArt. I really wanted to stalk Jin's cosplay photos. I wanted to use my usual 'Miharu' nickname but it was already taken. I dunno what had taken over me when I registered this name. Good thing, I like spices. XDD  ohh... The my craky self's coming back... XDD Buh bye... Till next post~!!

ps: I'm soooo sorry for spamming for today (well, I dunt know if this is spamming). I woke up on my craky bed side... XDD

28th-Apr-2009 06:55 pm - Hearts' Egg : Shugo Chara
Do you believe in an inner 'you'? A character that you hide from everyone else? A character that reflects your dreams and desires? A heart's egg maybe?

Shugo Chara! a manga and anime-adaptation tells an adventure of Amu Hinamori, a spicy and cool 14-year old sixth grader attending the Seiyo elementary. Unknown to others and even by the family, that wasn't the 'real' Amu. One night, Amu prayed deeply, she wished to have courage and  a different character. The next day, she found three mysterious eggs which later on hatched into Ran, the sporty and cheerful chara, Miki the cool and artistic chara, and, Sui, the clumsy but great in household chores chara. Basically, shugo chara is a guardian character that signifies the real 'you'. Born from the heart's egg, if not believed in, these shugo charas will disappear or much worst, turn into X-eggs, heart eggs that can inflict serious damages if not cleansed.

Remember Humpty Dumpy? The egg who dreamed of climbing on a high wall? In this series, a Humpty Lock and Dumpty Key is named after this hopeful egg. With the said lock, Hinamori Amu can character change into Ran (Amulet Heart), Miki (Amulet Spade) and Sui (Amulet Clover) to cleanse X-eggs and save the owners of the said eggs.

Let's follow Amu and her shugo charas, with the School Guardians, who happens to have shugo charas as well, in her quest to save innocent heart eggs and the embryo, an exceptional egg that can grant wishes, against the forces of evil. My own heart, UNLOCK!!!

27th-Apr-2009 07:54 pm - Miharu will now be active here
From now on, I'll be active in here... I admit, I'm not a blogger and I'm quite a net illiterate myself

By May1, I'll be doing some fanfictions to revive my muse back using the prompts given by the I:U community

this is an example:

iu_fanfiction Prompts

Challenge # 8
1. Experiment
2. Belief
3. Uncertainty
4. In the nick of time
5. X marks the spot

I'm actually new here even though my account says the otherwise... So please take care of me... *bows*

23rd-Oct-2008 10:28 pm - Happy Birthday Genshiken DLSU-D!!!
Two years of anime joy. Two years of learning new skills. Two years of sharing knowledge about manga and anime updates. More importantly, two years of bonding moments, laughter, and memories. Who would have thought that an organization this grand came from a simple group of people sharing same love for anime?

Today, October 26, 2007, we're celebrating the second year of Gendai Shikaku Bunka Kenkyukai or The Society for the Study of Modern Visual Culture, simply known as 'Genshiken DLSU-D'. For those who doesn't know the origin of it's name, it came from an actual anime with the same name, showing a college club for anime otaku, or extremely devoted fans of anime media and it's culture, and the lifestyle its members pursue. It clearly shows the conflicts that an otaku experience in their everyday lives. The pressure, discrimination, family problems and such are exactly what every other otaku experience. And with this, Lasallians who believe that Religio, Mores, and Cultura live in Art organized an organization wherein it aims to promulgate Anime, Manga, and Comics as a modern vehicle for Art and Culture, and believed that these can be of very good use as instruments to channel every Lasallian's talent and love for Arts and Craft.

But hey, wait! If that's the case, who are these people behind the creation of Genshiken DLSU-D? In October 26, 2006, a group of second year Computer Science students submitted the form for creation of an organization. Ielee Tesorio, the founder president, with Joyce Cirineo, the founder vice-president, took their time and efforts to enhance the knowledge of other La Sallian Otakus by promoting their organization through costume play or what we call cosplay. This, then, is the beginning of a group of people gathering in front of JFH building, or what they dub as "kubo desu". They usually organize to go to conventions, held competitions, skills enhancement activities and a lot more!

For closing remarks, as what have the former President of Genshiken DLSU-D had said, "The very essential goal of Genshiken lies in its dream to be one of the De La Salle University's pools of talents, where students will be given the chance to hone their talents, love their craft, relieve their pressures thru recreation, and create bonding to other Lasallians who have the same interests and love for Anime, Manga, and Art". Viva la GENSHIKEN!!!

Side Note: Genshiken DLSU-D is an organization in De La Salle University - Dasmariñas Cavite Philippines. The said organization is dedicated to enhance every member's skills in the field of drawing, writing, performing and cosplaying in connection to Anime, Manga, Art and Culture.

- This is an online article. If you want to know more, please visit our website >>link
You may find me as Miharu-chan in the said website.

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