Date Published: August 16, 2009
Characters: SungMin, EunHyuk, DongHae (respective POV) (Super Juniors)
Genre: Drama, Romance, A bit of Fluff (Shounen-ai)
Warnings: The change of whose POV is not written.
~~~~ => means change of POV
=======================================================================Everytime there was a camera around, you always sought out for his hand. You let him hug you, hold you, and even kiss you. But people didn't know, behind the camera, you come to me instead...
"Hyung!!!" there was your voice again. Your cute voice that won't leave me even in my dreams.
"What is it Hyukkie?" I didn't bother to look up from my pink laptop when you entered my room. From my peripheral view, I saw you sit on my perfectly made bed.
"Hyung! I did a vanity check on the internet! I typed 'Eunhyuk'! I clicked several sites and it redirected me into a 'EunHae' Fandom!" you made huge hand gestures as your pout deepened. How cute.
"People seeing your and Donghae as a pair is not surprising," I closed my laptop, afraid of you finding out that it was your picture on my wallpaper.
"Buuuuut Hyuuung! Hae is one of my closest friends!!!"
"And I am one of your friends too. But when you look for 'Sungmin', you'll see 'KyuMin', 'SungWook' or 'YeMin'," I faced you in my pink pajamas. Your face contorted, and a frown formed.
"But I want to be paired with Minnie hyung too..."
"Huh?" I think my ears failed me. Must be my imagination playing with me again, "I beg you pardon?"
"N-n-nothing!" you quickly stood and in a second, you were out of my door, "see you later!"I was so confused at that time. But I can't help but believe in that tiny bud of hope that you'll feel the same as I feel for you...
"And the winner for the dance battle is Eunhyuk! Congratulations!" I saw you hug him. I felt sick. My chest tightened but I forced a smile when you approached me.
"Congratulations Hyukkie!" I hugged you, along with the other members.
"Thank you Minnie hyung!" you once again hugged me and game me your famous gummy smile. How can I resist falling for you if you keep on giving me such delight of seeing you smile?
"Oi Monkey! I'll treat you to movies since you won," he walked up on us hugging and stole you away from me. I felt cold without your warmth against mine.Why can't you see me more than him?
I saw you crying when the others left for China. I comforted and held you close while he was not around.I wonder... Can I make you smile?
When the others came back, you cried and smiled so beautifully. Is it only him that can make you smile like that?If I look for another, will you stop me?
I tried to stick with Ryeowook. Always hugging him. But still, my eyes will always stray to your side, seeing Donghae having his way again with you, making him center of your attention.Will you feel it? My heart pounding just for you?
When we sang the 'Butterfly Grave' in Sukira together with Yesung and Eeteuk, I gave my best in singing. I poured all my feelings for you in it, hoping that you'll somehow feel how I felt for you. Did you feel it?When will I ever learn?
Sometimes, I feel jealous of Eeteuk sshi, he always have time to be with you during the Sukira. I wish to be in his place. But more than that, I wish to be in Donghae's place.Will you realize my feelings?
I positioned myself behind you during the end of our performance. And when he held your hand facing the crowd, I held your other hand at the back. I felt happy even if the fans didn't see our intertwined hands because in my heart, I will always believe in my small bud of hope.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Whenever there is a camera near us, I sought for his hand. Not because I don't like you, but because I was afraid that if I turned to you, I won't be able to let go...
"Minnie hyung!!!" I called out. I've searched the whole studio but no 'YOU' to be found. As my last resort, I walked down to the corridors and found you alone, texting with your adorable pick cellphone. I tried to approach you but I saw 10 ELFs watching you with their cameras at hand. Good thing Donghae was there. He held my hand and smile at me as we approached you. I wish it was you who held my hand.You look adorable when you're clueless, handsome when serious, and lovable when you smile...
"Ya! Hyukkie!" you hugged me when I was about to fall. Your arms that looks frail has hidden strength in them. You smiled at me, my heart fell. I wonder, is your power includes making me in love with you?I even faked some of my tears for you to see me...
I was crying when others left. When you saw me and held me close to your chest, my loneliness ebbed down. But when I felt you letting go, I faked my tears for you to continue to hold me.Do you see my smile? My smile that only belongs to you?
When the others came back, you are with me waiting for them. I smiled my most beautiful smile because I know you'll be watching me.I belong to you... Please be mine too...
Why do you torture me like this? Don't be so close to anybody else other than me. Don't look at me with such eyes when you held another's hands.Do you feel my heart?
I envied the one whom you dedicated the song 'Butterfly Grave' that we sang in Sukira. You seemed to have sang the song with such intense feelings. Would it be Ryeowook? Please... Please... Please let it be me...Please teach me to forget you...
Whenever I try to delete you pictures in my cellphone, my hand will suddenly stop moving and my eyes will focus to your eyes. I always feel a lump at my throat whenever I do this so I stop and just stare at your picture until I fall asleep. Donghae always tease me with it when we're alone, yet I can't get myself to get over with you...Have you felt it now?
My hand froze when he held it with his own. I felt your presence at my back so I relaxed and silently offered you my other hand. I was glad when you took it. You gave me strength while we were facing thousands of ELFs. Though they didn't saw our hands intertwined together, I smiled at the warmth you gave me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I often thank God for the invention of camera. For because of it, you let me hold and hug you even for mere minutes...
"Monkey! Smile!" I grabbed you and hugged you tight against me when I saw the camera nearby. You sputtered and blushed, yet I was happy to be able to hold you.
"Ya! You could have just told me calmly than hugging me out of nowhere!" you pouted that adorable pout that I've always fall in love with.
"Now, where is the fun in that?" I smiled cheekily as another camera zoomed its way to us.
"No! No! No!" you ran and I followed you. Of course , so is the camera too.I randomly hit you with water bottles or game consoles for that is the only way I know to get your attention...CLUNK!
"Ya! What is that for huh?!" yur expression never failed to amuse me.
"Nothing!" I grinned as I whizzed past you and hid behind Shiwon, who is reading his daily dose of Bible.
"Oi! You shouldn't do that to your hyungs fishy!" you briskly walked towards us, your face still having that adorable pout that I always love.
"Bleh!" I jumped away from you outstretched hand and ran, signaling you to follow. Yo, on the other hand, cursed under your breath and started to chase me.I've even tried to tell you that I love you...
"Saranghae Hyuk Jae..." I stared at your eyes. There was a shift in them.
"What is it you want now fishy?" you hissed. I felt hurt but I never dared to show it.
"But Monkey! I really do love yoouuuuuuuuu..." I whined and I saw Sungmin hyung enter the backstage. I've never got my answer after that.Whenever you see him, I feel so small... Can't you see me too?
"Mooooonkeeeeyyy! Mooooooonkeeeeeyyy!" I cried out. I was worried that you lost your way again but I saw you looking for him. Your eyes, determined to find him, scanned even the most crowded places just to see him. And when you found him in the corridor, you look lost at the cameras around him so I held your hand, smiled even it breaks my heart, and lead you to him.Could you be mine?
I hold you, hug you, kiss you, but I feel incomplete because I often feel your eyes looking at his direction. Why won't you see me as yours for you to be mine too?My heart belongs to you, and only you...
When we left for China, I cried during the trip. I've missed your voice, your laughter, your pout, your witty comebacks, your simple gestures when thinking, and your warm hands. I've tried to forget you, I really do. I hug Henry, whisper things to Zhoumi, heck, I even cling to Hangeng. But I've realized, I left my heart with you.I tease you about him but in my heart, I wish it was me you love, not him...
I saw you curled up in your bed, clutching your cellphone at one hand. You're still dreaming about him, aren't you? I wish it was my picture whom you stare out all night until you sleep.Am I nothing compared to him?
When I sought for your hand after our performance, I felt you freeze. I turned to you and saw him behind you. I even saw you silently offer your hand to him and your dazzling smile when he took it. What am I to you? Will I have to make myself believe that you will love me too? Will it be you and me with intertwined hands or him and you? Please, do tell me...
======================================================================Comments are highly appreciated. It is my first time to write a one shot. TwT
It has been awhile since I last posted here... ^w^
*Originally posted in sj-world.net