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spicedSnow's Lair
a dork with grammar issues and minimum time for herself
[G]Untitled(SHinee Oneshot) 
29th-Apr-2010 08:30 pm
Title: Untitled
Author: spicedSnow
Genre: Romance/Drama/Angst
Fandom: SHinee
Pairing: Fictinal Character and Kim Kibum (Almighty KEY)
Additional Notes: Words that are in BOLD are memories while in italics are lyrics.

Birthday gift for my beloved dongsaeng, RHEENA~ Yihee~


"I-I c-can't t-take it anymore Key sshi..."


"Its no one's fault..."

"I-if you w---"

"Mianhe... Mianhe..."

Ahhh... Tears once again rolled down, the same painful memory kept playing in my head. How long it has been? A month? A year? Yes, a year since she left me. I thought she loved me. I thought she's the one for me. I thought we would last forever. But as other people said, there is no such thing as forever. Her love was fragile and I'm an idiot not to notice.

"Hyung, wak--- WHAT HAPPENED?! ARE YOU HURT?!" Taemin, my son, inspected me from head to toe. I feel so weak... I feel so cold... I feel so exposed... I begun rubbing my arms up and down. Shimall! Whay does it feel so cold?! More tears streaked down my face as I curled into a tight ball, "Minho hyung! Jonghyun hyung! Key hyung's hurting!" heavy footsteps followed as I tightened my hold around myself.

"Ya! KIM KIBUM! Are you still thinking about her?! I tell you, SHE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU! YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR HER!" Jonghyun shouted and hit me repeatedly, "DO YOU HEAR ME?! YA! KIM KIBUM! YA! KIBUMMIE!"

"Hyung..." Minho's baritone voice floated in the air and Jonghyun stopped. Before the doors closed, Minho reminded me of our schedule. Another day that I have to pretend I'm happy. Another day that I have to endure trying to forget you. Heeyeon sshi, do you realize how much damage you've done to me?


"Does Key sshi likes sweets?"

"Key hyung..." Taemin elbowed me and I was snapped out of my reverie.

"Huh? Pardon?" I looked dumbly at the emcee, "will you please repeat the question?"

"Do you like sweets Key sshi?"

"Does oppa like sweets? I hope you do because I really like it alot!"

"I like it alot," I winked at the camera, just like that day when you asked me the same question. Heeyeon, do you still remember that day when we met? It was your first day at the cake shop where I work part-time.

"Does oppa like sweets?" I turned and saw you staring up at me, "I hope you do beacause I really like it alot!" you beamed and I saw the sunniest smile that I've ever saw in my entire life.

"I like it alot," I winked and you giggled. Heeyeon sshi, you're so cute...


"Waah! You're so mean!" you ran away from me, giggling.

"Ya! Heeyeon! How will you grow taller if you refuse to eat vegetables?" I ran after you, a bowl of green bell peppers at hand.



"Hyung?" a tentative voice and a tap on my shoulder.


"You've been staring at our kitchen for 30 minutes now... Are you sure you're okay?

"Yes, I am. Thank you Minho," I said but what I want to say was 'why do I see myself with her in the kitchen?"

"Oppa pabo~"

"Aish! Come back here!"

I can't hold back my tears. Heeyeon sshi, why did you leave me?

"Oppa, saranghae~ Nadoo saranghae~"

"I know..."

I should have responded more, right? Wasn't I able to show you how much I love you?

"Oppa~" you twirled a lock of your ebony hair and peered at me cutely...

"Oppa..." holding out nervously a box of chocolates, you awkwardly smiled at me...

"Look, oppa! A seashell!" you jumped for joy as we listened at the peacefulwhizz of breeze...

"Oppa, you're the best!"

"O-oppa... Mi-mianhe..."

"Kibum," Onew hyung called out and I wiped my tears. No one should see it aside for myself. No one...


"A seashell!" I perked up as Jonghyun handed me a large cone-shaped seashell. He just smiled and continued to play with Taemin and Onew hyung.

"Are you following me?" I stared hard at the seashell. It's the same seashell you picked up when we visited a beach late summer two years ago. It's peach color glinted off under the sun. I wonder if it still tells the story of the ocean that we've listened back then.

"Look, oppa! A seashell!"

"It's huge! Where did you get that?" you childishly pointed somewhere random.

"Does oppa know?"

"Know what?"

"Each seashell tells a story!"

"That's ridiculous!"

"Come here, listen," you pulled me right in front of you. You stood in your tip toes as you placed the cone at my left ear and cupped the other ear. Soft crashing of waves to pebbles, melodious hum of breeze, and a tale of hardships. Who knew a shell has this wonderful story inside?


"I told you so~" you smiled once more, your eyes shining brightly like that say you first smiled at me. Heeyeon sshi... My Heeyeon sshi...

I inspected the seashell once more and placed it on my left ear. I closed my eyes and focused only on it's story. A story of soft waves on pebbles, melodious hum of breeze, tale of hardships, and lost love.


"Onew hyung," the dubu looked up from his book and stared at me weirdly.

"What is it Kibum?"

"May I borrow your mp3? Mine had just run out and I'm still not sleepy," without any other words, hyung tossed his mp3 to me and returned to his book. I, on the other hand, programmed the player on shuffle mode.

*BGM: My everything*

"The loneliness of nights alone..."

Heeyeon sshi?

"The search for strength to carry on..."

Tears trickled my cheeks. It's your favorite song... You like to sing so much. We even sing in duets. Do you still remember your off-tuned moments? I chuckled deeply as tears cascade freely on my cheeks.

"My every hope had seemed to die..."

Yes, my every hope had died... You carried it all with you...

"My eyes had no more tears to cry..."

How I wish this could be true... How I wish I could stop my tears from falling... How I wish I could forget... How I wish I never got to met you...

"Then like the sun shining up above, you surrounded me with your endless love..."

"Endless love, eh?" I chuckled bitterly, "your love is as fragile as a crystal heart. I knew I shouldn't have been around you in the first place.

"Coz all the things I couldn't see are now so clear to me..."

It's clear to me... Yes... It's clear to me that no matter how much you love the person you treasure the most... How much you wish for it to be forever... How much you pray for it not to change, it will vanish in an instant... Out of your hands reach...

"You are my everything... Nothing your love won't bring... My life is yours alone... The only love I've evr known," I squeezed my eyes shut as more memories of you trying hard to sing, but failing miserably, flooded my mind, "Your spirit pulls me through, when nothing else will do... Every night I pray, on bended knee, that you will always be... My everything..." what should I do when your spirit is not here with all these things coming up? You know you are my everything... You know that... Yet, you left me and never let me explain.... Why, Heeyeon? Why?


"Oppa! Look! your album sold out more than 50 000 copies! Congratulations!"

"That's great Heeyeon..." I fiddled with my cap and double checked my outfit.

"Let's celebrate oppa! I brought your favorites! We can share t---"

"We have to attend a show today..." attaching my wrist watch. I checked my hair once more while smirking in front of the mirror.

"Well then, I'll wait until the time you come back oppa~"

"Key sshi, there's a letter in the mailbox addressed to you," Onew passed by as I finish cooking for our breakfast, "I left it at the counter".

"Another love letter?" wiping my hands clean, I inspected the said letter. It's different from those scented and glitter-infested love letters that I usually received from fans. I opened the letter and a familiar ring dropped.

"Oppa should always wear this ring!" you said as you forced a ring at my right hand.

"Why should I?" I inspected the ring with mild interest.

"Because it bears my name and it has a partner~ Ta-daaaa~" another silver ring glinted off from your hand and you handed it to me, "that has you name on it Kibum sshi~"

"It's like in those drama series on TV..." I said but I still put on your ring and you smiled whilstfully.

"Oppa saranghae~ Nadoo saranghae~"

"I know..." I smiled and mentally said 'I love you more'.

Kibum oppa,

   Hi... I know you don't want to see me now after what happened. I highly doubt that you even remember me. If you happen to read this, it means that I'm no longer in this world. Mianhe oppa... I lied... It's not true that I can;t love you anymore because you've become a celebrity... The truth is, I still love you oppa... It's you that brought up smile to my face during the times I have to go through chemotherapy... I want to live... I want to be with you oppa... I really do, that;s why I kept my illness a secret from you... But I guess, I failed? Mianhe oppa... I know you might not believe it but I wish for you to forget me. To move on without me. There is so much life ahead of you oppa... I know you can do it, you're Kim Kibum, the Almighty Key, right? Oppa, FIGHTING! =)

Moon Hee Yeon

My whole body trembled. Heeyeon sshi? She has cancer? How could she lie to me? I tried to hold it in but ugly sobs erupted from the back of my throat. My body shook once more and I was on my knees in seconds, palms on my face. Heeyeon sshi! How could you do this to me?! Forget you?! Do you know how freaking hard it is to do?! Huh?! Do you?! I even tried to hate you! I tried! You heard me?! I tried hard but I can't! Now, tell me how should I do it?!



"Oppa..." I fidgeted under my spot. I waited for him out here for almost an hour.

"What is it Heeyeon sshi? It's already late, don't you have school tomorrow?"

"I-I w-want to b-break up w-with you," squeezing my eyes shut, I recited the lines I've been memorizing a week before this day, "y-you're too high f-for me n-now to r-reach..." Mianhe oppa... I have to lie... I have to... ,"O-oppa is a c-celebrity n-now, right?"


"I d-don't love you anymore..."why does my heart hurt this much? I know this is for Kibum's wellness in the future...

"T-that's impossible... H-heeyeon s-sshe I-I..."

"I-I c-can't t-take it anymore Key sshi..." I even used his screen name for him to stop crumbling my resolve...


"Its no one's fault..." I turned my back at him. I just can't stand seeing him in so much pain... Mianhe oppa...

"I-if you w---"

"Mianhe... Mianhe..." I ran off. I know you're willing to give it up all but I know it's your dream. I know you more than any one else... I... I just have to protect it... I have to protect you... This is the least thing that I can do... Mianhe oppa... Saranghae... Saranghamnida... Forever...
1st-May-2010 12:44 pm (UTC)
Well written, especially the seaside part. Na-touch ako kahit di ko masyado pamilyar kay Key. <3

ahm for me, yung spaces dapat sana di masyado malaki. :3 la lang sabi ko lang pero syempre dun ka pa rin kung san ka mas komportable. :3
1st-May-2010 12:45 pm (UTC)
read mine too~ and please mag-critic ka!! T___T
4th-May-2010 03:27 pm (UTC) - Onkey... XD
gahd~! sino daw walang alam sa shinee huh??
ONKEY.. <3

you should post this sa shinee_replay

thanks again onkey.. :))
20th-Jun-2010 07:29 am (UTC)
OMG!! This was so heartbreakingly beautiful!
This piece of writing really moved me alot~
Yah. . . .I feel the pain of Key in here haha x')
11th-Aug-2010 04:14 am (UTC)
awwww.... that was heart breaking!
Ahhh! I really liked the seashell part the most!
good job! :D
11th-Aug-2010 06:39 am (UTC)
11th-Aug-2010 06:44 am (UTC)
WHYYYYY~? (yes, there's only one 'f' in my spazz comment)

angst always gets the best of me. i dunno why. ;~;
anyways, I LURVE IT. 'Nuff said.

A story of soft waves on pebbles, melodious hum of breeze, tale of hardships, and lost love.
this is &hearts
11th-Aug-2010 08:19 am (UTC)
Love the story, Gusto ko pa. hehehehe.
Kaya i prefer the guys with OCs, you can feel the love in there <3
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